January 10, 2020
Good things can come out of a tragedy.
I believe this with all my heart. After the attack that happened coincidentally five years ago today, by an unstable woman who slashed my throat, the first good thing that happened is that I survived, and second good thing was family and friends came forward to support me. I had felt alone most of my life and didn’t quite know how to receive all this goodness even from strangers. Plus I was trying to figure out what just happened to me from the perspective “How did I create this mess”? Coming from a shame based family history I believed everything that went badly was my fault and I was ready to blame myself for the attack as well.
This incident gave me a golden opportunity to explore another perspective “Bad things in Life just happen, it’s no one’s fault”. I even thought it was my fault for possibly upsetting my attacker because I walked my cat past her door daily for two years. My therapist at the time cleared that up with solid logic, “You do not stab someone for disturbing your peace, you find a good mediator to talk it out”. This was beginning to make sense for the first time. Big relief. I could see there was a lot of healing to be done including long held beliefs I took on as a child.
On a happier note, I had registered for an Animal Communication Retreat in Findhorn Scotland in fall of the year before, but it was full and they sent my deposit back. I was really disappointed because I was already an Animal Communicator and I wanted to meet and learn from this woman, her philosophy about animals merged with my own ideas. A few weeks after the attack I was notified by email that a spot had become available and I had to let them know quickly if I still wanted to attend. I was so raw from the attack I couldn’t think straight so I took this question to my therapist and asked her advice. She was wonderful, offering ways to examine this opportunity, on the one hand it was a chance of a lifetime (my dad had left me some money) but was I up for travel to a foreign country alone? Even though I was scared, I just had to say yes, I felt this was a gift from the Universe and I wasn’t going to miss it.
I cautiously started to believe that maybe I lived in a friendly Universe and that I could trust that someone or something was looking out for me. Before I knew it, four months after the attack, I was on a plane for Findhorn Scotland, even though I tired easily, I was elated to be with a roomful of animal lovers who also had traveled across oceans to learn from the best. The good news is I was thousands of miles away of the event that could have been fatal and put me in a very safe and loving environment where I got to rest and recover between classes, make new friends and learn more about TRUSTING the Universe. I was on a quest and didn’t know it. Here today five years later, I am happy to share a long life lived and cherished at long last.